Day 20: I almost died…parts of me did

The last year has been an amazing chapter for me, on a few different levels. Extremes on both ends of the spectrum :))

I started a company, Rad Uncle. Which has been an incredible. It’s a RAD place for me to create a unique platform for me, to give, share and create all my dreams. My deep heartfelt passions towards life and humanity. You know this Super Rad kinda of stuff takes a minute..hence RadUncle’s Trademark is “Rad, Wasn’t Built In A Day”

and that’s exactly what this journey has been and it’s a constant reminder for me to be in my heart, to be here in the now, to be present, to be rested and in this place……RAD THINGS HAPPEN.

This last year was also one of the hardest years of my life. I got my “heart” handed to me. In late December I went to the hospital with an apparent heart attack (yeah..ME). The doctors rushed me right into the emergency room after they checked my pulse it was so low and I had all the symptoms of a heart attack shortness of breathe, numbness in my arms in neck and my heart hurt. It was super scary. I was not well and not happy but after 2 days in the hospital and a few trade mills and morphine the doctors declared that it was just a stress attack from my life and here are some of the symptoms why I hit rock bottom.

But how could “RadUncle” get stressed out??? That’s not supposed to happen to that guy..That’s not my brand :)) But oh..It did..Life handed Rad something who couldn’t shake and this photo has a huge clue to it. I wasn’t in my heart, I wasn’t present. I was stuck in some deep patterns and a few things got me way down.

1. My heart was broken like I’ve never had before and It was a combo of not dealing with my last relationship that I had two amazing kids with which are both under 5) years old and then I had the famous “rebound” relationship which bit, chewed and smeared my insides all over the place :))…for me to have two relationships not work in a row with children involved was extremely painful and I found that I couldn’t get out of it like I use to…there was no escaping and I couldn’t just leave for a year and go travel to Brazil or India. I had to stay put because I have kids and I have a company called Rad Motherfucking Uncle…and I’m determined to see this Phoenix Rise :)))

2. Starting a company with a deep vision and a ton of passion takes a lot of love and time and i started RadUncle with a dear friend and my business partner and in the middle of the process he wasn’t able to work/commit because his wife wouldn’t let him continue…it came down to him having to choose between RadUncle or his Wife. He wasn’t able to make a decision so his wife made it for him. This was a hard pill to swallow to share a ton of love, passion and work and to have the momentum just stop was a very difficult. Maybe this one of the reasons it’s super hard to get something of the ground it takes a ton of variables to make things work. But at the time this was very difficult for me.

3. Raising kids half the time and being single….is no joke.

It’s the best thing ever and you have to be present or you get worked and even when your present you get whomped but I’ve noticed that you don’t get as tired when you’re in tune with your kids or in this case of the post like the photo….YOU ARE HERE..IT’S YOUR HEART, IF YOUR IN YOUR HEART AND YOUR PRESENT YOU ARE FREE, THERE IS A DEEP JOY OF BEING IN THE PRESENT…THERE IS NO PAST OR FUTURE IT’S JUST NOW…and what I found over the last year is that I went through a really UN-RAD TIME FOR RadUncle…(I’m laughing at myself and I’m so thankful that I can laugh at me) because there are so many more daunting issues for people but this is my issues and everyone has there’s and almost a year later all three of those issues have changed, eased, gotten better and I have healed. But for me it’s a deep and constant reminder that life is really short and it goes oh so fast and I’m the one that is usually preaching to friends and family about being conscious and being in the now (present) and I wasn’t..I wasn’t in the present I was locked in a ton of my pain and a lot of my decisions that led me to these circumstances came because I wasn’t totally present…I fell asleep at the wheel so to speak.

Am I better person? Absolutely. Will it happen again? It won’t happen like it did!  I’m different. I’ve changed, my focus is sharper.  I’ve noticed  that most of my issues come from 1. main issue I don’t sleep/rest enough. If I don’t sleep it sets me up for a lot of shitty patterns. I don’t workout because I’m tired and then I feel like crap and then I crave sugar and I drink a ton of coffee..all simple stuff but it effects me from being in the now and being present and after several months…patterns become issues. So my goal is to REST MORE and to take things a little bit slower and deeper and become the CRAFT OF MY LIFE AND BE HERE NOW…BE  HERE NOW.

Be The Present….The Gift Is Life

RadUncle